Scaredy Cat

It's true. Robbie J almost had a baby when that Hoarders episode popped up. This one time I started telling him about changing the cages of research mice in lab... and then he mostly looked like this:

Never watch that episode of Hoarders (unless you want nightmares). 

I guess I'd better spill my guts a smidgen since our theme is about fear. When I was little I used to be terrified of Ursula from the Little Mermaid. She was massive and purple and mean and had an awful voice and man, her eyes are the worst. And her tentacles, Oh God. The build up to watching without saying "okay tell me when it's over" took til I was like six. Yeah, not that little. 

Onto more tangible, non-Disney fears. My first one is getting stuck in a rut. It's hard to explain. You know when people do the same thing, day-after-day, but at some point they realize they don't love what they do, or who they're with, or they're just not passionate about what goes on in their life? I'm really scared of that. The idea of mid-life or sometime-in-life crises makes me anxious if I think about it for too long. I've been reading a bunch about The Absurd and the Myth of Sisyphus from French philosopher Albert Camus. The gist is that absurdity involves searching for the inherent meaning of life, despite the impossibility of the chase. We will never understand. The journey and our experiences along the way are what yield fulfillment and happiness. Hmm okay, that's fair. Camus identifies revolt, freedom and passion as reactions to realizing absurdity, but what if we're never completely satisfied? Lots to think about. Absurdity doesn't prevent a crisis but it keeps my brain on its toes. Part of me is still scared I'll never find what makes me happiest, but so far, so good.

It also reminds me of this song.... listen to the lyrics. "Waiting for the day you're not looking for something else."

 

Second fear: getting old. Not so much the aging part, but slowly becoming incapable of what you could once do. The thought of being afflicted with Alzheimer's or ALS and trapped in either your mind or body is frightening. You could be totally mobile but not know who you are, who your husband is, your children's names. Even worse is when people stop visiting or making time for an elderly family member. It broke my heart to see the number of people alone Christmas Day or Easter while working at a nursing home. I never really minded working holidays. Brings me to my next song: "will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?"

Okay this stuff gets pretty heavy, intermission time. I like this next song a ton, but the video is wicked creepy. You know those commercials where people's faces transition? I dunno what it is, but I HATE those things. They're weird. Watch this video:



One more song and that'll be enough for one day. Third fear: what is happening to the world!?! Eight year-olds have iPods. They also have cell phones. 60% of people are obese. 5, 000 birds fall from the sky in Arkansas. We're consumed by what society expects of us. In Charlie Winston's words, we are a generation spent. The world is a mess and we're the ones to blame. If you have a minute, read Dougles Coupland's A radical pessimist's guide to the next 10 years:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/a-radical-pessimists-guide-to-the-next-10-years/article1750609/singlepage/

And then listen to this song. It's deceivingly happy. 

Hope you liked those tunes. That's all for today.

Love, Tara